


Peridot's Paranormal Pursuits

by SilverScribe



Series: Lapis the Lecherous Ghost [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Ghosts, Halloween, Human AU, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Suicide, ghost au, lapidot - Freeform, mentions of abuse, mostly fluffy though, scary bit, well hopefully it's scary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 19:16:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12539252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverScribe/pseuds/SilverScribe
Summary: Paranormal Investigator Peridot gets a lead on a haunted barn and decides to investigate. Or how Peridot meets Lapis the snarky ghost, a Halloween tale.





	Peridot's Paranormal Pursuits

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again. As is befitting of the season I thought I'd write something with Halloween in mind, but first some warnings.
> 
> This work contains mentions of suicide, abuse and death. The work itself is mostly lighthearted, hence the General rating, but these themes are present. I'm more than open to any critique on how I handled them but if those things make you uncomfortable you may want to forgo this story.
> 
> Another important note, the mention of suicide in this work is not meant in **ANY WAY** to glorify or romanticize suicide. I don't believe I've written it in such a manner, but I want to be crystal clear on that point all the same.
> 
> Okay, enough of that. Enjoy my humble offering for the season and I hope you all have a spooktacular Halloween. :)

Peridot swore she was going to kill Ronaldo. Out of all the wild goose chases he'd sent her on this one was by far the most frustrating. Researcher. More like crackpot blogger. If she ever found her way out of the backroads of rural Delmarva and back to Empire City she was firing him from his post at Peridot's Paranormal Pursuits. She growled at her cellphone as she tried in vain to pull up her navigation app. Of course there was no signal out here. With a frustrated sigh she leaned her forehead against the steering wheel of her beat up old blue pickup.

There was a light tap on her window.

She very nearly put her head through the cab of her truck.

After regaining her composure and swallowing her shame, she was a paranormal investigator for pity's sake, she realized a pair of children on bikes had pulled up beside her truck where she'd parked on the grassy curb. One was a short, slightly pudgy boy with curly black hair who appeared to be holding a picnic basket and his companion was a mahogany skinned young girl with long, black hair pulled back in a braid.As soon as Peridot lowered her window to greet her unexpected visitors the curly haired boy began spewing words at an alarming rate.

“Hi! I'm Steven and this is Connie! Who are you? Are you lost? A lot of out of towners get lost here. I don't know why, it's pretty easy to get around. My Dad says it's because people from the city can't do anything without cell phone reception and—”

“Steven, breath. Manners,” the dark skinned girl, Connie, interrupted.

“Oh right, we can help you if you're lost. We're on our way back home from a picnic!”

Peridot stared for a moment, dumbfounded by the sheer energy the short, curly haired boy emanated. Finally she cleared her throat to ask for directions. She certainly wasn't getting anywhere sitting here cursing her lack of phone reception. “Greetings children, my name is Peridot and indeed I am unfamiliar with this locale. Perhaps you could assist me in locating a dilapidated agricultural storage facility that I'm told is in this vicinity.”

“Agricultural what?” the boy named Steven replied. Peridot rolled her eyes in exasperation.

“She means a barn Steven,” the girl designated Connie supplied.

“Yes, a barn in more quaint terms.”

“ARE YOU LOOKING FOR THE WATER WITCH?!” the curly haired child exploded, jamming his face into Peridot's open window. She winced and pulled back from the erratic prepubescent.

“Great, you're another one of those ghost hunter types?” Connie sighed as she threw her braid over one shoulder and leveled a rather insulting stare at Peridot.

“I am a Paranormal Investigator young lady, not a ghost hunter, and I have traveled to this primitive backwater to research an incorporeal being which could be colloquially referred to as the Water Witch, yes,” Peridot said with an offended huff as she brushed her yellow bangs out of her eyes and pushed her glasses back in place. She already didn't like this little girl.

“Riiiight. Tell me Miss _Paranormal Investigator_ have you ever found any conclusive evidence of your incorporeal beings?”

“Well, not absolutely conclusive but—”

“Have you ever seen a ghost personally?”

“On several occasions I've recorded inexplicable images with my instruments that lead me to conclude—”

“So that's a no then,” the infuriatingly smug girl interrupted once again. Peridot found herself grinding her teeth. She would not be lambasted by an adolescent!

“But Connie, no one goes to the Water Witch's barn. Everyone is afraid,” Steven interrupted anxiously, looking back and forth between the intensely locked stares of his companion and Peridot.

“That's because it's a dilapidated death trap Steven, not because some made up ghost haunts the place,” Connie said with a roll of her eyes.

“But—”

“Will either of you provide me with directions or should I simply be on my way?” Peridot snapped, interrupting the boy who now appeared to be attempting to hide in the collar of his star strewn sweater.

“Keep following this road for another mile or so, take the first left you come across. It dead ends at the barn. Happy hunting Miss Ghost Hunter,” Connie answered with a snort. “Come on Steven, we'll be late for the new episode of Under the Knife if we don't hurry. It's getting dark.”

“Oh, right! Bye Miss Peridot! Good luck finding the ghost!” the boy cried cheerfully as both he and the insufferable little girl mounted their bikes and continued down the sunset bathed road. Peridot ground her teeth for a moment more, how dare that juvenile disrespect her in such a way, before finally cranking her old pickup and heading down the road.

She'd show her what a professional Paranormal Investigator could do.

* * *

A few minutes later and several shouted epithets at her steering wheel over the way the Connie girl had shown her such disrespect found Peridot pulling up to the overgrown grounds of a broken down barn. Rundown did not begin to describe the location. The property was covered in weeds, some growths nearly as tall as Peridot herself. There was an overgrown pumpkin patch off to one side of the structure, besides that the only remarkable feature seemed to be a rather small pond near the front. The barn itself brought Connie's comment about it being a dilapidated deathtrap to Peridot's mind, it certainly seemed to be an accurate description.

There was a dark, gaping maw where the front doors would have been and another large opening in the right side of the structure. It almost looked as if something had just rammed through the wall. The wood was gray and splintered with age, all traces of paint long faded. It looked like something straight out of a cheesy horror movie.

It was perfect.

Peridot scrambled out of her truck and immediately jumped into the back to gather her equipment. “EMF sensor, full spectrum camera, digital thermometer, everything seems to be in order...” She mumbled to herself as she shouldered her pack and squared away with the barn entrance. With a satisfied nod she pulled out her voice recorder and began her log.

“Peridot's Paranormal Log, case 7152. Location, agricultural storage facility ruins in rural Delmarva with highly promising signs of incorporeal being activity. Commencing investigation.”

And with that Peridot clicked on her flashlight and walked into the twilight shrouded barn.

* * *

Lapis Lazuli stared down at the small invader of her domain from the loft of her barn, the last dying rays of the sun passing through her ethereal form as she observed. It'd been a long while since anyone had bothered her here. She liked it that way. She drifted through the floorboards to the gaping doors below as the intruder violated her studio. The trespasser was a small girl with short, messy blond hair. She wore glasses and a silly green shirt that read “I want to believe.” Lapis rolled her eyes at that. Another ghost nut. From the bulging pack on her back and the instruments in her hands it looked like she was expecting a show. Well Lapis was going to have to disappoint her. She didn't want any attention, she just wanted to be left alone. The little interloper would find a dusty and empty old barn, nothing more. Lapis drifted up towards the ceiling and took up a comfortable position laying on her side in midair. She'd just wait her out. It was a shame though, the little ghost hunter was cute.

Not that things like that mattered to Lapis anymore.

* * *

“I am now entering the structure rumored to be the domain of an incorporeal being,” Peridot said into her voice recorder, which she'd clipped to the collar of her shirt. “So far all readings are normal,” she continued as she glanced down at the EMF Sensor held in one hand while she slowly moved the beam of her flashlight over the interior of the barn with the other. Her excitement drove her to be rash and quickly survey the interior but her professionalism kept that impulse in check. She'd methodically go over the structure, looking for anything unusual as she went along. Like the proper Paranormal Investigator that she was.

The first thing her narrow beam of light fell over puzzled her. It was a collection of...toilets? Three arranged together in front with a elevated counterpart just behind the trio. She couldn't discern any purpose to the formation. It was certainly odd, but hardly paranormal, so she continued on. Her flashlight passed over an old, boxy television set next...with small circular mirrors protruding from its sides? More puzzled than ever she continued down the west wall of the structure only to find several more of the odd installations. As far as Peridot could discern they were...sculptures of a sort? For the most part they were just random bits of everyday junk rammed together in odd shapes and configurations. Furniture, toys, an assorted collection of baseball equipment strung up and hanging together...

“What is this, a graveyard for failed modern art?” Peridot scoffed to herself. Then she leapt into the air with a squeal before falling flat on her face as a loud crash echoed behind her. She groaned as she tried to sit up under the weight of her pack and raised a hand to her now tender nose before surrendering to a coughing fit. Dust had been throw up everywhere by...

By the large, ragged sofa sitting on the floor just inches from where she'd been standing, rotted floorboards scattered all around it.

Peridot looked up to see a sofa sized hole in the loft above. A layman would conclude that the decrepit wood supports of the structure just so happened to finally fail at this point in time, but Peridot knew better. She stowed her EMF Sensor and pulled an EVP Recorder from her pack as she tentatively approached the fallen furniture. Someone was here.

“Greetings incorporeal being! I am Peridot, a Paranormal Investigator who wishes to make contact with you. Would you please say your name within range of my recording device?” she asked the now still room while holding her recorder out at arm's length and moving it from side to side.

Something was here, she just knew it.

* * *

Failed modern art? _Failed modern art!?_ How dare that little twerp! There was nothing failed about her art! This so called Paranormal Investigator had the gall to come into her art studio and disturb her eternal peace and quiet and _then_ she insults her sculptures on top of all that? She's lucky Lapis didn't drop that couch flat on her head and send her on her own personal and intimate investigation into the paranormal! As Lapis fumed and huffed in the air above, as much as a dead girl can huff, her little visitor carried on below.

“Please, I postulate that the falling living room decor was a sign that I am unwelcome but I only desire a few moments of your time. Well perhaps several moments for measurements and recordings, but I assure you I will be as unobtrusive as possible!” the little gremlin, she'd said her name was Peridot, chattered on below while waving her recording device all about.

“The falling living room decor was a sign that you're a very rude house guest and a horrible judge of art,” Lapis mumbled to herself as she continued to sulk. When Peridot stooped down to actually look _underneath_ the couch—did she think Lapis was some kind of bogeyman?—she let out a frustrated growl and rolled her eyes. Her little outburst had only encouraged the trespasser. She'd never get rid of her now.

No. No, she'd just ignore her from here on out. Eventually she'd get tired, chalk the near death experience with a couch up to rotten wood like any sane person, and leave.

Lapis just had to wait Peridot out.

Lapis had no idea how persistent her unwanted guest could be.

* * *

It was nearly dawn.

It was nearly dawn and her unwanted guest still hadn't given up.

Lapis could bang her head against a wall in frustration but that would only encourage her. Peridot had spent hours crawling all over the barn using every one of those ridiculous instruments in her pack for one thing or another, all the while finding nothing, and yet she _still_ persisted.

Lapis wasn't sure how much more of this she could take.

* * *

It had been hours since a hunk of furniture had nearly killed her and still Peridot had found nothing. She'd used every device at her disposal, every scanner or sensor known to paranormal investigation, and a few unknown she'd constructed herself. Nothing. Maybe it really had just been the rotted wood. No. No there _had_ to be something here. She couldn't deal with another failure. Another disappointment. Another investigation wasted.

 

_“Happy hunting Miss Ghost Hunter.”_

 

The words of the insolent little girl from before echoed through her mind. She could still hear the contempt in her voice. A contempt she had grown all too familiar with in her life since she'd decided to pursue her dream of quantifying the paranormal. With a frustrated yell Peridot threw her pack to the floor and gave it several kicks. “I am not a fraud! I am not crazy! Paranormal phenomenon are real, we simply lack scientific data pertaining to them, which is what I'm trying to rectify!” she bellowed to the dusty rafters. “Please, if anyone is here just give me something, some shred of validation to prove that my entire life isn't a failure!” she asked desperately of the desolate barn interior. But no one answered her. Nothing answered her.

Nothing was here.

With a defeated groan Peridot slumped to the musty floorboards and leaned her disheveled mop against a nearby support beam. Her Mother had been right, she was a fool. She should have gone into computer engineering right out of college like her family wished. At least then she'd have a career, a steady income, a decent life.

At least then she'd have the respect of her peers.

But no, she wanted to believe in the paranormal so badly that she'd thrown away everything for it! She ran a hand through her sweaty blond hair and leaned further back against the rotten support beam, then with a resigned sigh she clicked her log recorder on to conclude this failure of an investigation. “It is with a heavy heart that I finally come to realize the truth. I must conclude after searching and scanning everywhere, inside and outside of the structure, that there is no paranormal activity present. Perhaps... perhaps there is no paranormal activity anywhere. At all. Perhaps I am just a fool chasing shadows and childish delusions rather than the scientist I've always styled myself to be. That by far seems the most likely to me now after so many failures. I believe...I believe I am done with this life. There really is nothing out there. End log.”

Peridot curled in on herself then, wrapping her arms around ripped denim clad legs and burying her face in her knees. In the dim light of her failing flashlight she sat there in the predawn darkness.

She sat there and she cried.

* * *

She was crying. _Why_ was she crying? Lapis was hovering just above Peridot, still invisible of course, and she very nearly reached a hand out to comfort the ghost hunter. The blond girl's slight shoulders were shaking with her sobs and heartbreaking little whimpers and half formed words kept emerging from where she had her face buried against her knees. After a few moments she sat up and removed her glasses to rub at her red, puffy eyes before leaning back and letting out a hollow laugh. “Look at me, crying in a barn in the middle of nowhere because I've finally realized how much of a fool I am. I really am pathetic,” Peridot intoned with another hollow, self deprecating chuckle.

And like a freight train a wall of guilt smashed into Lapis. She'd done this. She'd been the final straw that had broken Peridot's spirit. All Peridot had wanted was a little glimpse of the unknown, Lapis had certainly given intruders in the past that glimpse to send them on their way. But in the end that had drawn unwanted attention to her barn. And so she'd chosen to ignore Peridot. She felt terrible.

Then she felt angry.

_Why_ should she feel responsible for this? Why should she feel guilty about Peridot's crisis of faith. She just wanted to be _left alone_. That's it! Just left to her barn and her solitude and her memories! But people couldn't leave the “Water Witch” alone. People had to come and see. Peridot had to come and see! And then on top of all that she'd made Lapis feel horrible for just wanting her privacy. Like she needed that kind of baggage on top of being dead. Fine. Peridot wanted validation? Lapis would give her enough validation to turn her straw yellow hair white!

* * *

With one last snuffle Peridot finally dried her tears. Her face ached from crying and her vision was blurry even with her glasses. It was time to go home. Time for her to grow up. She started towards the yawning opening that had once been the barn's front doors without even bothering to gather her pack, she didn't need that garbage anymore, when the voice recorder still clipped to her shirt crackled to life of its own accord.

_“Paranormal activity.”_

_“Paranormal activity.”_

_“Paranormal activity!”_

Peridot snatched the device from her shirt and stared at it as it continued to recite the mantra. The most disturbing thing was that it was _her_ voice reciting it. But it was different, her voice was distorted and it repeated the phrase in an eerie singsong tone that she hadn't used in any of her logs tonight. So it couldn't just be a malfunction with the recorder, could it? Deciding she'd had enough she pushed the power button.

Nothing happened.

The singsong chant continued.

Growing more than a little alarmed now she snatched the batteries out of the device and the mantra stopped. She let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding, it had just been a malfunction. Nothing paranormal about it. The paranormal didn't exist.

Then her recorder started talking again and it was far more horrible than before.

It was still her voice, but slower and horribly garbled, sounding almost in pain.

_“Para...nor...mal activi....ty.”_

“ _Pa....ra..nor....mal activi.......ty.”_

Peridot stared wide eyed and held the device out at arm's length. What was happening?

_“ **PARANORMAL ACTIVITY IS EVERYWHERE!!!”**_

Peridot jumped at the final outburst from the device and then watched in horror as it began to _melt around her hand_. She yelped and flung it across the room to clatter loudly against the far wall and then she took off at a sprint for the doors, dimly lit by the first rays of dawn. But when she was a handful of feet away from freedom her view of the outside world suddenly vanished and she was plunged into darkness. Peridot desperately grabbed at her belt for her flashlight and finally managed to flick it on after several bumbling attempts of her numb fingers. The beam was weak and narrow, the batteries were nearly gone, but it was enough for her to see what blocked her escape.

A dark...mirror?

Peridot was staring at herself as she approached the point where the exit should have been, and she looked terrible. Glasses askew, hair sticking out in every direction, face pale, bags showing under her emerald green eyes. How had this happened? Where had the mirror come from? But as she swept her faltering light over the surface of the obstacle she noticed something. A ripple that ever so slightly distorted the image staring back at her.

It wasn't a mirror, it was a wall of water.

“Impossible...what force could possibly be preventing it from collapsing and inundating the interior of this structure, and from where did it originate?” she mumbled to herself in a thoughtful tone. Now that the initial shock had worn off her excitement was starting to build. Unless she'd had a complete mental break, which to be fair was a distinct possibility, this was the evidence she'd been searching for. Substantial proof of everything she'd worked toward! As she stood there studying the impossible wall of liquid before her a slight movement caught her eye.

It was her reflection.

The Peridot staring back at her had broken with her own movements entirely. She now stood with one hand on her hip while she waved at Peridot with the other, a snarky grin painted across her face. Needless to say it was...off-putting. Still, this was her chance to make contact. Finally. “Hello, my name is Peridot. Judging from recent events I assume I have angered you with my trespass but I assure you that was not my intent. I only wish to learn about you,” she offered to her mirror self in a voice that she was proud to observe only wavered once or twice. In response her reflection nodded twice and beckoned her closer.

Peridot did not want to move any closer.

But if she wanted to finally realize her life's goal it seemed a show of good faith was in order. So she slowly closed the few yards between herself and her mirror self. Once she was standing directly in front of her counterpart she raised her right hand and seemed to press it against the surface of the water from her side. She nodded at Peridot and then nodded towards her hand, that same smug smile still adorning her face. Peridot carefully raised her left hand, fingers spread, and pressed it to her opposites' palm. At this her reflection's grin widened substantially and what Peridot saw there took her breath away. Rows and rows of glinting, yellow, razor sharp teeth. Far more than any human jaw should be able to hold. At this revelation Peridot stumbled back a few steps in horror, then her doppelganger's arms shot forward and broke the surface of the water to clamp around her wrists. As they broke the surface a small, detached portion of Peridot's mind that was still calmly analyzing all of this somehow noticed that outside of the water the arms appeared blue. The rest of Peridot screamed at the top of her lungs as she was snatched forward, her entire upper torso sinking into the ice cold watery barrier and abruptly cutting off her cry.

Peridot found herself face to face with...herself. Still smiling, still baring those horrible teeth. She was transfixed for a moment, simply staring into the eyes of her double, and then those impossibly numerous yellow fangs parted and revealed a maw far wider than a human jaw should be able to produce. Peridot screamed again, or she tried to. Bubbles of precious air flooded from her mouth and obscured her view. In desperation she braced her legs, still on the other side of the watery divide, and pulled with all her might, heaving against the iron grip holding her. Surprisingly she was released easily, immediately falling back out of the wall and landing squarely on her rear, a sputtering coughing mess. It only took her a few moments to recover and then she was leaping to her feet.

“OKAY I'LL JUST BE LEAVING NOW! THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!” she shouted and then she was off at a sprint for the large hole in the barns side that she'd noticed when she drove up and hopefully her escape. But when she reached it she was disappointed, another black wall of water blocked her path. Worse yet her reflection had followed her. It stood there in front of her, head tilted to one side, an almost playful smile on its lips. Now that Peridot knew what lay behind those lips she found it far more disturbing. In a panic she turned and swept her flashlight beam across the barn, frantically looking for some other exit. Then her beam dimmed, flickered twice and went out entirely. Her whole world became darkness.

“Please. I apologize profusely for my intrusion. If you'll just allow me to exit I assure you I will never impose upon you again,” she whimpered into the blackness. All excitement at the possibility of justifying her work had long since vanished. At that moment, standing there in the darkness with her heart pounding in her ears and barely able to draw breath, she simply wanted to go home. Light filled the barn then, but not natural light. An eerie, sickly green glow filled the interior and it seemed to be emanating from the two walls of water blocking her escape. Peridot's breathing became even more labored and she felt an uncomfortable tightness in her chest as she backed into the center of the barn. Sweat mingled with the water from her earlier dunking poured down her face and she felt very much like crying at that moment. But then a voice, a voice that wavered and broke almost as if someone were trying to speak through water, rang out behind her.

_“What's....the....matter...Peridot? You....said you wanted.....to make contact.....well, here I am.”_

Peridot's heart pounded like a jackhammer against her chest, she felt like it would surely burst. But she had to see what was behind her. She carefully turned to face whatever fate may await her.

A young woman stood there. She was tall, at least a foot taller than Peridot, and lithe. It was hard to tell in the washed out green lighting but she appeared to be wearing a long blue skirt around her waist and a blue cropped top over her torso. A chin length bob cut of cerulean locks topped it all off. But that wasn't what left Peridot frozen to her core. It was the girl's face.

Slender with a well defined jawline, in any other circumstances Peridot might have found the woman in front of her attractive. But not now. Because in place of her eyes and mouth were three gaping black holes. A steady stream of water was pouring from each, quickly pooling around their feet. As Peridot stared, mouth hanging open in a soundless scream, the Water Witch leaned forward and took her chin in one clammy, damp hand.

_“So...am I everything you hoped for?”_ the apparition intoned in that wavering, distorted voice that made so much more sense now.

Peridot went limp, her body falling lifelessly to the soaked and rotting floorboards below.

* * *

Oh crap. Oh crap, crap, crap. Too far. She'd gone _too_ far! She knew going all paranormal thriller on Peridot with the water face had been a bit much. What was she going to do? She wasn't dead was she? She didn't want a permanent barn mate! All of this screamed through Lapis' panicked mind as she cradled the head of her unwanted intruder in her lap.

“Please wake up. _Please._ I'm...I'm sorry,” she nearly sobbed. She hadn't wanted to hurt anyone, not again. She'd just wanted to be left alone.

With a soft groan Peridot returned to consciousness, her eyes fluttered open and looked around. Then they landed on Lapis' face. She screamed. She screamed and flailed her way out of Lapis' lap, scrabbling backwards with her hands and feet until her back pressed up against the barn wall.

“Calm down! I'm not going to hurt you! I was never going to hurt you!” Lapis said, raising her voice over the continued shrieking of her guest. The girl really had a set of lungs on her.

“You tried to drown me! You tried to _eat me_!” Peridot babbled as she pressed herself as flush with the rickety wall as she could manage from her seated position, eyes never leaving Lapis.

“Honey I don't eat until at least the third date,” Lapis deadpanned. Peridot just continued to stare, the innuendo apparently lost on her. So much for trying to lighten the mood. Although to be fair coarse flirting probably wasn't appropriate after she'd just given half-pint here the scare of her life.

“Will you allow me to leave now?” Peridot asked, her eyes darting all around the barn as she slowly stood, still keeping her back to the wall.

“I'm not stoppin ya, at least not anymore,” Lapis said with a gesture towards the two obvious exits that had previously been blocked by water and nightmare fuel. Early morning sunlight filled both. With a wary glance between Lapis and the front entrance Peridot slowly starting inching her way to freedom. After a moment she broke into a sprint. Lapis sighed and turned her back to her departing guest. This was what she wanted but...she was also kinda disappointed now that she'd gotten her wish. It'd been nice having someone to talk to again. If only for a moment. She was about to float back up to the roof and enjoy the sunrise when an unexpected voice from behind made her jump.

“If...if you meant me no harm why did you chose that method of first contact?” Peridot asked hesitantly. Her eyes still wide and fearful but also tempered by...determination? Lapis was somewhat taken aback, the short woman's curiosity must have overcome her fear. Lapis wasn't sure whether to be happy for the continued chance for conversation or annoyed at the continued invasion of her privacy. She split the difference with snark.

“That was payback for invading the sanctity of my art studio and insulting my sculptures,” she answered with a scowl. Peridot shrank back a bit at that.

“Art studio? A barn in the middle of nowhere?”

“It was cheap and 'middle of nowhere' means privacy.”

“Ah. I see. I...uh...I offer my apologies for my remarks in regards to your sculptures earlier. They are certainly...unique.”

“Smooth. Very smooth. Unique is the highest praise I've ever received.”

“I'm...I'm sorry,” Peridot said, sounding genuinely remorseful as she hung her head and stared at her shifting feet. Lapis' face softened at that, gosh she was cute.

“Don't be. If I'm being honest you got that masterful scare because you made me feel guilty. And then I was angry about feeling guilty,” Lapis relented.

“Feel guilty?” Peridot questioned.

“For your crisis of faith over your paranormal research. I was determined to ignore you, mostly, the couch was me, but when you starting crying I felt bad. Then I got angry about feeling bad. You were invading my barn after all. So I decided to give you the encounter you were looking for.....and I got carried away. Sorry.”

“You...You heard all that,” Peridot said as her cheeks flushed.

“Every word.”

“Stars above, my first encounter with a paranormal being and she sees me acting like a bratty juvenile,” Peridot muttered as she looked away from Lapis, her cheeks flushing slightly.

Lapis couldn't help but laugh at her reaction. “You're adorable,” she snorted

“So, the designation given to you by the locals seems to be 'Water Witch', is that what you wish to be called?” Peridot asked, obviously trying to change the subject. Lapis let her.

“Ugh, no. My name is Lapis, Lapis Lazuli. Freaking teenagers and their nicknames,” Lapis grumbled, crossing her legs and arms in annoyance to hover in the air before Peridot.

“Teenagers?” Peridot inquired as she began walking circles around Lapis, her curiosity finally returning full force as she observed the phenomenon of Lapis levitating.

“Yeah. A few years back some frat boys on break thought it'd be a good idea to get wasted and come tear down my barn, that's where the big hole in the side came from, anyway they ended up regretting that night out,” Lapis replied as she grinned at Peridot and slowly rotated to keep her eyes on her as she circled.

“What...what did you do to them?” Peridot asked with a nervous swallow, her curiosity being replaced with anxiety once more.

“Relax Peri, I didn't hurt them. I've never hurt anyone, scouts honor. I just strung them up upside down in what I like to call 'timeout bubbles' all night. Basically big globes of water that surround your body only leaving your head free. I could show you if you like?” Lapis offered with a wicked grin.

“Advanced hydrokinesis, intriguing. I believe I'll pass on the experience myself, and it's Peridot, not Peri,” Peridot replied, all analytical investigator once more.

“Peri is easier, and cuter,” Lapis retorted while flipping forward to lay on her stomach in midair at eye level with her guest.

“Well if you insist Laz,” Peridot answered dryly, staring the apparition square in the eye.

“Laz, I like it,” Lapis said with a snort filled giggle. “So you do have some spunk in you huh?”

Peridot's face reddened once more but she didn't rise to the bait. “May I question you?”

“You're already questioning me.”

“I mean...I mean may I interview you about all of this?” Peridot said with an expansive gesture to the barn. “About your experience. About your...about your death?”

Lapis sighed at that and placed her feet back on the ground. “I suppose I owe you that much after nearly scaring you to death. Come on, let's go sit by my smaller-than-average lake. It's my favorite spot and relevant to your interview little Miss Ghost Hunter.”

“Paranormal Investigator,” Peridot corrected with a huff as she followed Lapis outside into the early morning light. The barn looked far less menacing during the day, although still decrepit. They came to the edge of the small pond, which was surprisingly clear of weeds, and Lapis floated out over the center of it in a reclined position as Peridot took a seat at the edge.

“Ask away my dear _Paranormal Investigator_ ,” Lapis announced, placing emphasis on the title while giving Peridot a cheeky smile.

“What happened to you? How did you come to be in this state?” Peridot began.

“I died, duh,” Lapis answered, yawning and leaning further back into her reclined position.

“How?” Peridot continued. There was silence for a few moments—she jumped right to the uncomfortable questions didn't she?— but finally Lapis answered.

“I killed myself.”

Save for the chirps of a few early morning songbirds silence prevailed over the barnyard at that revelation. Peridot was staring at her in shock. Well, that was a pretty heavy bomb to drop on someone. Maybe she could have been more tactful about it. But that wasn't really her thing.

“Killed yourself?” Peridot replied breathlessly.

“Yep. Right here as a matter of fact. Just slipped right into the water and with the help of a few weights let myself sink. A couple lungfuls of water later and and it was goodnight Lapis. My bones are probably still down there,” Lapis finished in a detached, irreverent tone. She glanced over at Peridot only to find her staring in shock. “That was a joke Peri, about the bones bit.”

“Lapis...why?”

“Eh, no reason in particular,” Lapis answered with a shrug.

“Lapis...”

“What do you care anyway? Shouldn't you be asking more practical questions? Like how my ghost powers or whatever work?” Lapis responded with a touch of heat to her voice.

“I believe it would be beneficial for you to talk about it,” Peridot answered calmly, tenderly.

“Why?”

“Because you seem to want to.”

Lapis stared at her new companion for a few moments, coming to a midair sitting position. She hadn't been shown real concern by anyone in so long...It couldn't hurt to tell her. Well it _could_ , but Lapis was going to anyway.

“I...I'd just gotten out of a pretty bad relationship a few months before I took my final swim. With a woman named Jasper. It's a long, ugly story but let's just say we weren't good for each other,” Lapis began.

“Was she...was this Jasper abusive?” Peridot asked tentatively.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Lapis responded numbly, crossing her arms to hug herself.

“And she drove you to this? You did this to escape from her?”

At that Lapis burst into a bitter bout of laughter. “You've got it a little wrong there Peri, I did this to get away from _myself,_ although that didn't really work out so well.”

“I...I don't understand Lapis.”

“Jasper wasn't the only abusive one in our relationship. We both were. I was terrible to her, I enjoyed taking everything out on her, I needed to, I despised her, I relished in torturing her. In manipulating her. In controlling her. I was horrible....” Lapis explained.

“Lapis...” Peridot began, but she didn't seem to know what to say so Lapis continued.

“But then one day I woke up and I couldn't take it anymore. I broke it off, I moved out, I tried to end it. For both of us. Jasper didn't take it well at first, but after a month of so I thought things were finally settled. But then she started following me, calling me, showing up at my job, doing anything she could to be near me. She wanted to get back together, I still remember what she said. 'It'll be better this time, I've changed, you've changed me.' And a part of me wanted to give into that temptation so, so badly. I wanted to go back to her, to be able to take everything out on her again. To _hurt_ her. It didn't matter what she'd do to me, as long as I had that. It was terrifying, I was terrifying.”

“Did you go back to her?” Peridot asked in a subdued voice.

Lapis was still for a time, laying fully on her back now and looking up at the powder-blue morning sky, before she finally answered.

“No. No I didn't. Jasper took it better than I expected, or at least I thought so at first. She left me alone after that but I kept tabs on her through our mutual friends. She started drinking. A lot. I guess it was her way to cope, her way to deal. Mine was my art, hers was a bottle. To make a long story short she eventually ended up wrapping herself around a tree one night a few months after our breakup while she was on her way home from the bar and that was the end of Jasper. I was starting to move on at that point, maybe getting a little better, but when I heard about Jasper...”

Lapis stopped here for a moment and rearranged herself into a sitting position to face Peridot squarely.

“It was my fault, I did that to her. What gave me the right to go on after that? To have a happy life? And so I came out to my little makeshift studio one night and...well you know the rest,” Lapis concluded solemnly.

“Lapis...” Peridot began in a breathless tone before seeming to stop and gather herself. Lapis took the time to gather herself as well, to prepare for the disgust and hatred her visitor was surely trying to find the words to describe. “Lapis it wasn't your fault.”

_What?_

“What do you mean it wasn't my fault? I did that to her! I left her behind after I'd broken her and I wouldn't go back. I'm a monster!” Lapis yelled, standing up on the water to face Peridot in angry disbelief. But she didn't flinch or cower away this time. She stood up to face Lapis.

“You may have been an abusive partner, and that certainly was wrong, but you realized that. You ended that damaging relationship to protect yourself _and_ Jasper. You also resisted the temptation to fall back into it. It's certainly tragic that Jasper's unhealthy coping mechanism lead to her death before she could move on but it _wasn't_ your fault,” the small investigator said with more conviction than anything else Lapis had heard her say.

Lapis just stood there for a few moments, taking in Peridot's words. She didn't quite believe them, she couldn't, but they were certainly nice to hear. Peridot was the first person she'd ever told any of this to and instead of judgment and condemnation she received understanding and....concern. Lapis laughed then and brought a hand up to her eyes to stop the tears that threatened there. Then she did something entirely spontaneous, she leaned down and gave Peridot a light kiss, just to the side of her mouth. “Thank you Peridot, that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me,” she said with sincerity, and she was truly thankful. Then she was laughing again as Peridot turned so red she looked hot to the touch.

“Yo-You're welcome Lazuli,” the flustered investigator replied.

“Well, anymore questions?” Lapis asked with a sly grin, giving Peridot an out.

“Oh several, I suspect I could stay here for days interviewing you on various subjects. Like how are you able to shift your body's structure and pass through solid objects at times and yet at others seem just as corporeal as a normal human? It's fascinating.”

“I'm sure it is but I'm not sure if you could manage days. You spent all night trying to find me and then getting scared half to death by me remember? You must be exhausted,” Lapis answered with a fond laugh as she simultaneously ruffled Peridot's messy blond hair and put her other arm straight through the girl's chest to illustrate the point she'd just been discussing.

“You're able to keep separate parts of your body in each state, fascinating,” Peridot murmured to herself before continuing. “Your concern is appreciated but unwarranted. I once remained fully conscious for four consecutive days while I was investigating reports of paranormal activity at a lighthouse in Beach City.”

“A girl with stamina, I like that,” Lapis teased and she was once again delighted to see a flush in Peridot's cheeks.

“But, perhaps I should be going. I've been out of contact with my associate for nearly twenty-four hours, he's likely to contact the authorities and report that I've been taken captive by the lizard people if I don't return to communications range soon,” Peridot said.

“Sounds like a fun guy, are lizard people a thing?” Lapis asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“No. No they are not,” Peridot answered with a long suffering sigh.

“Alright, how about I help you gather your things then and see you off, I don't want cops swarming my barn looking for lizardfolk,” Lapis said with a laugh. A few moments later saw Peridot's massive pack loaded back into her truck, Lapis had carried it out for her, and the investigator sitting in the driver seat making her goodbyes.

“Would it be okay...would you object to my returning to the barn at a later date?” Peridot asked nervously.

“I suppose you'd want to bring a bunch of sciency friends and finally prove yourself to the world right?”

“No. No it would just be me. I don't need to prove anything to anyone anymore, just knowing myself is enough, I respect your desire for privacy. And...and I'd like the opportunity to learn more about you. Not just your existence as an incorporeal being but who you are as a person,” Peridot replied with perhaps the most earnest expression Lapis had ever seen. It was her turn to blush this time, well if a ghost could blush.

“Sure Dot, I'd...I'd like that,” Lapis finally managed.

“Excellent! I'll see you in a few days then Lazuli,” Peridot chirped happily.

As Lapis watched Peridot drive down the dirt road that lead away from her barn she felt a sense of loneliness she hadn't experienced in a long time. Peridot had...changed something in her. She didn't know if she could wait for a few days.

“Maybe it's time for a change of scenery,” she mumbled to herself as she looked back over her shoulder to her barn.

* * *

The first thing Peridot did when she regained cellphone reception was call Ronaldo, she immediately regretted that decision.

“Peridot! You missed both your twelve hour and sixteen hour check in report! Another hour and I was going to inform the police! The ones I can trust anyway, most of them are a part of the conspiracy. How did you escape the lizard people?” he babbled into the phone as Peridot resisted the unsafe urge to bang her head against her steering wheel column. She really needed to fire him.

“For the last time there are no lizard people Ronaldo! I'm fine, everything's fine I just....I just had some engine trouble. In the middle of nowhere. Where you sent me,” she said pointedly.

“Did you discover the lair of the Water Witch? Did she try to devour your soul!?” he continued.

“I discovered an empty barn and several varieties of invasive greenery, nothing more,” she ground out. She certainly wasn't telling him about Lapis.

“Oh. Well when you return I have a new lead. There's an old quarry near Beach City that is reportedly haunted by a dark, shadowy beast that makes you _feel_ horrible things. I suspect it's a tool of the conspir—”

“Goodbye Ronaldo,” Peridot interrupted, cutting him off and ending the call. Stars she needed a shower. And some coffee. And a new assistant.

Late afternoon finally saw her one of those things, a shower as she returned to her humble apartment in Empire City. She sighed as she leaned her forehead against the wall and let the hot water run through her hair and down her aching back. This was heaven. As she began soaping up she once again found herself processing all the events of the past day. She went on every investigation with the fervent hope and determination of finding something and this time she'd finally done it. But Lapis was more than that, she wasn't just a curiosity. She was...she was a very complex individual.

“And her appearance is aesthetically pleasing as well,” Peridot mumbled to herself as she turned her back to the water to wash away the suds.

“Whose appearance Peri-berry?” a familiar voice asked. Peridot's eyes snapped open in panic and her hands flew across her body in a vain attempt to salvage her modesty. Lapis Lazuli was standing in front of her. In the shower. A pleased grin spread across her face. Like a cat that had found a particularly tasty treat.

“LAPIS!” Peridot screeched.

“Me? Yeah I am pretty hot I guess. For a dead girl anyway,” Lapis responded flippantly.

“ _LAPIS!_ ” Peridot shouted again, more desperate this time.

“That's my name. So, you come here often?” Lapis said with a waggle of her eyebrows.

“I live here! This is my shower!” Peridot protested, finally starting to regain some control of herself.

“I know. My compliments on the view,” Lapis hummed happily as her eyes roved up and down Peridot's form.

“Exit immediately!” Peridot babbled, embarrassment warring with anger warring with confusion at Lapis' appearance.

“Alright, alright. I'm going, don't have a meltdown,” Lapis replied with a playful roll of her eyes and then she simply floated out through the bathroom door.

It took Peridot a few moments to compose herself but when she finally did she was overcome with curiosity. Why was Lapis here? Had she followed her? Did that mean incorporeal beings weren't bound to specific locations? Were they all so rude as to barge in on someone in the shower? No, she expected that last trait was particular to Lapis Lazuli. Unable to contain her interest for any length of time she wrapped herself securely in a towel and walked out into her small living room. She found Lapis lazily floating on her back above the entertainment center, idly going through her DVD collection.

“You watch _Camp Pining Hearts_ , I loved that show. It's a classic,” Lapis said without turning around.

Peridot suddenly had to resist a _very_ powerful urge to rant and rave with Lapis about the merits of her favorite show in existence. Finding another fan these days was about as rare as finding an incorporeal being. Still, she resisted that urge and got to the matter at hand.

“Lapis, what are you doing here?” she asked with all the firmness she could infuse into her voice. Lapis turned around then and stared for a moment at Peridot in her towel, she felt her face heat again, but then Lapis' eyes returned to Peridot's and stayed there.

“I just figured it was easier for me to visit you than have you drive all the way back out to that dank, old barn,” Lapis answered easily.

“Lapis...” Peridot said sternly, giving her a steady stare. She hadn't known Lazuli for any length of time but even she could tell that wasn't all of it.

“Fine. I was lonely okay? You're the first person I've talked to in years, I usually just scare everyone off or ignore them until they leave. I'd forgotten what it was like to talk to someone. It was...nice,” Lapis answered in a huff, flopping down on Peridot's couch for all the world like a moody teenager. “I thought maybe we could hang out for awhile, that I could answer more of your questions in the comfort of your own home. But...but I'll leave if you want me to.”

Peridot stared at Lapis for a moment, a touch stunned by the outpouring. But it made sense, spending years alone at that barn with the memories she had eating away at her couldn't have been healthy. And if Peridot was being honest with herself she'd been eager to see Lapis again too...

“I do not object to your staying here, but if you wish to do so certain boundaries have to be set. Namely no materializing in the bathroom while I'm taking a shower,” Peridot said with a sigh. What was she agreeing to?

“Aye, aye captain. You won't even know I'm here half the time. Hey, can we watch a few episodes of _Camp Pining Hearts_ together while you ask your questions? I haven't seen it in ages,” Lapis chirped while giving a mock salute, cheerfulness seeming to wash over her at being given permission to stay.

“That is...acceptable, just allow me to change first,” Peridot replied calmly, secretly nearly as excited to have someone to watch her favorite show with as she was to get the answers to more of her paranormal inquiries.

A few minutes later found Peridot sitting on the couch by Lapis, wearing her most comfortable pair of alien print pajamas, Lapis thought they were a riot, and arguing over which season would accompany their conversation. Lapis wanted to watch season five, and make fun of how garbage it was, while Peridot wanted to watch season four which was objectively the best season. As they bickered playfully Peridot realized in the back of her mind that maybe she'd been lonely too. Her chosen vocation had isolated her from her family and the closest thing she had to a friend was Ronaldo which wasn't saying much. Perhaps having a incorporeal roommate wouldn't be so bad...

They finally settled on season five, Peridot bowing to the logic that it would be immensely entertaining to tear the season apart together, and Peridot opened up her laptop for their impromptu interview. But after a few minutes of the first episode, and realizing that Lapis shared nearly all of her opinions on the show, Peridot found herself forgetting her questions. They could wait until later.

For now she simply wanted to enjoy the company of her newfound companion.

It was...nice.

 

**Author's Note:**

> And done. For my handful of regular readers, judging by my kudos at least :P, I promise I'm done with Lapidot works for a bit. In the pipeline are a Pearlrose Rebellion era fic also featuring some Bismuth and a younger Pearl/Amethyst fic centered around their first meeting and how their relationship developed pre series. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this work, as always constructive criticism and comments of any kind are welcome. You can also come shout at me on my [Tumblr](https://silverscribe87.tumblr.com/) if you prefer.
> 
> Until next time!
> 
> **UPDATE:** If you enjoyed this fic the masterful author CoreyWW has created a continuation of this story titled [PeriNormal](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12679431/chapters/28907799). Check it out! :D


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